Not Quite Usual
by TheAttentionJustEncouragesHer
Summary: Responses that didn't exactly make it into the book. Now with new moon!
1. Twilight

_I do believe its blatantly evident i don't own twilight. _

* * *

"_That's Edward and Emmet Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one that just left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said all this under her breath._

"Really, the Cullen's aren't that attractive. I like my Men Tanned."

* * *

_I glanced behind me, but the huge room was empty now._

"_Where did they go?"_

"_Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose." _

"Sorry Edward, I was just using you to get to Rosalie."

* * *

"_What's your favourite colour?" he asked his face grave._

_I rolled my eyes._

"Black, like the depth and darkness of my soul."

* * *

"_They don't understand why I can't leave you alone." I grimaced. _

"I do. This magnet has been stuck to my back since the plane from phoenix."

* * *

_And what was my other choice- to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to forks, it really seemed like my life was about him._

It was then I decided to check myself into rehab.

* * *

"_Grizzly is Emmett's favourite." His voice was still off-hand, but his eyes were scrutinising my reaction. _

"Mine too."

* * *

_Everyone watched us as we __walked together to our lab table._

"What? Haven't you ever seen two albinos's walking?"

* * *

_And then, as the room went back, I was suddenly hyper aware that Edward was sitting less then an inch from me. I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me…_

"Hey! Which punk rubbed a balloon in my hair?"

* * *

"_What kind of car is that?"_

"_An M3"_

"_I don't speak Car and Driver"_

"_It's A BMW"_

"Christo! Quick, he's speaking in tongues! Someone perform an anti exorcism!"

* * *

"_His questions were different now, though, not as easily answered. He wanted to know what I missed about home, insisting on descriptions of anything he wasn't familiar with. _

It was about the time he started asking about the feeling of a gynaecology examination and whether pink lip liner or plum was better for accentuating hat I realised maybe there was a reason he was still single.

* * *

"_He jumped from great heights" Edward told me, his voice impassive. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life and very strong." _

"Darn! You mean to tell me he lived? And I was just about to ask him for tips, too."

* * *

_R_e_view darlings?_


	2. New Moon

Everyone, meet the sequel of doom. Sequel, meet everyone.

* * *

_IF she hadn't been in my line of sight, I wouldn't have noticed Alice give up and steal out of the room. With a tiny, apologetic smile on her lips, she disappeared through the kitchen doorway. "Well that's everyone." I sighed "I can clear a room, at least." "It's not your fault." Carlisle comforted me…_

"Yea… I probably shouldn't have gotten into those beans last night, but it was Charlies turn to cook, and…."

* * *

"_What is it that you enjoy?" I wondered._

" Well, I like long walks on the beach, mountain lion by candle light and the ability to not need to leave the bed for a month, but I'm guessing that's not what you meant, right?"

* * *

"_His eyes were green?" I murmured, trying to picture it._

"Yes, it suited him, as he was quite the jealous person, also. He sulked for a month when I turned Esme. And none of us are allowed to even enter a Volvo dealership."

* * *

"_Take your things!" cried Alice as I walked warily toward Edward. She scooped up the two packages, one half-opened, and my camera from under the piano, and pressed them into my good arm. _

"Oh. And when you return them to the store for a refund, made sure to avoid the clerk with the pink nametag. He'll just screw you around and ramble about 'the thought that counts'."

I knew there was a reason Alice was my best friend.

* * *

"_What were you thinking?" Jessica snapped, "You don't even know them-they could have been psychopaths!"_

"I'd prefer the _could be_, to the **definitely** I'm with now."

* * *

_I took a step back, his curious; dark red eyes followed the movement._

"_Do they visit often?" he asked, still casual, but his weight shifted towards me."_

"_Lie." The beautiful, velvet voice whispered anxiously from my memory._

"Hey! Wait! What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"You have an innate fear of clowns." Memory-Edward answered.

"And that is relevant how?" I demanded.

"Have you SEEN Laurent?"

* * *

"_Ok." I said. __"I'll come with you"_

"_You can't, Bella. Where were going… its not the right place for you."_

"Why?" I demanded.

He sighed "There are bunnies, Bella."

"NOT THE BUNNIES!" I shrieked in horror.

"THE BUNNY KING WANT TO TAKE ME AND RAVEGE ME"

I took a deep breath, and conceded. "Maybe your right."

* * *

"_Jake__" I protested, leaning away. He dropped his arm, not looking bothered at all by the minor rejection. He reached out and took my hand firmly, wrapping his other hand around d my wrist when I tried to pull away again. Where did he get the confidence from?_

"_Now, just hold on a minute, Bella." He said in a calm voice. "Tell me something."_

"Ok. That kiss was worse than the time I open mouth kissed a camel."

* * *

"_No, Jake!"_

_But I ducked to the side, because it was too late. With a grunt, he launched himself toward my open window._

"And that's how I became best friends with a pancake."

* * *

_He __twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were rimmed in red. "You don't look so good." _

"Yea? Well you smell like a toilet bowl, I wouldn't be talking buddy."

* * *

"_Easy! He hung up on me!"_

"_He? Who was it?" _

"Do you know the muffin man?"

* * *

"_Were not alone," She reminded them. _

_Demitri glanced over his shoulder. A Few yards into the square, the little family, with the girls in their red dresses, was watching us. The mother was speaking urgently to her husband, her eyes on the five of us. She looked away when Demitri met her gaze. The man walked a few steps farther into the plaza, and tapped one of the red-blazered men on the shoulder. _

And that's how I ended up sharing a jail cell with two flamboyant drag queens (who got along famously with Alice... and Edward.). Who knew Vampire's could be tazered?

* * *

"_La tua cantante" Edward said. His voiced made the words into music._

"She with only one facial expression?" Alice looked puzzled, but, after casting another look at Bella, nodded in comprehension.

* * *

_Yes, that tazered comment was a bit of a shot at the pepper spray thing from twilight, the movie. I couldn't help it. ^^_

_I don't own the characters or the franchise or anything else someone could sue me over, kays? I think we've all realised that by now anyways._


End file.
